BROKEN SILENCE: About Growing Up

BROKEN SILENCE

About growing up
By KATRINA PAJARILLO
July 29, 2005, 8:00am

Life used to be full of fantasy and wonders. Everything was thought of as a fairy tale; we used to foresee that falling in love and being in love is such a lovely Walt Disney movie or a book perfect to make you cry, pout and smile. For some time we used to think that fate and destiny come in a package but as we grew up and had all the gazillion crushes and heard all those problems life has become less spectacular yet more interesting.

We used to live in a world where partying, having crushes and relating with people were the highlights of our existence. We used to be happy-go-lucky in grade school and high school. College was one of the things most of us would love to be part of. Though it spoke of truths, somehow, we get to reminisce that those days were the turning point of our being.

Why do we exist? Where are we heading on to? Have we become idealistic or cynical? Where were we when this and that happened? Now, being in the middle of childhood and adulthood, we’ve traced our roots and sometimes wishing that the tick of the clock would pause for a while and let us do the things we wanted to do.

We were hasty and impulsive then; now, we see things differently and we live for what the future will hold. Fate and destiny now are not thought of as an encapsulated situation; now we vividly face everything that surrounds us. Responsibilities are more than just memorizing Chemistry, Physics, Statistics; they have become to be rationalized in our own state in a mathematics that now includes accounting and management.

Our life encounters are all made by choice. The chances are weighed. Priorities are evaluated. And now, life is a hierarchy of truth not just a structure of how we’re supposed to live and be known of.

Is this life deserving to be called and be compared to a Walt Disney movie now? Our genre has even changed to a more complicated and more intense level. Culture has been changed into a modernized forgotten past. Relationships has become bound to be more understood. How can we ever tell if Life is already perfect for us? Nobody said that Life is as simple as how we have memorized our alphabet or learned the numbers from 1 to 100.

I still couldn’t – but I have to – believe that this life really is a walking contradiction, that we are what we chose to do and what we wanted to be. It’s either we go to a battle without preparation and fight with fire or gather all the strength ask about all the information, then analyze before fighting over things that we wanted.

We do have our needs and desires. As we have grown up, these two words may have become synonymous, but in reality they havebecome antonyms of how we used to think they are. Our needs are the necessities and our wants are weighed to either what we crave for, what we just feel like having or a selfish act of being a brat or a stubborn human being.

Sometimes, even if we wanted things so bad, we just can’t have it all. Every action has an opposite or parallel reaction.

Every substance added to another substance either gives a positive or negative outcome. To think more than twice is what we do now; before, we just wanted to do things for the sake of being there, of doing it, or in an abusive way just to be where and what we want to be.

Growing up, getting old and moving forward will never be fair. We have to walk with our shoes and sometimes feel others’. Life is an irony of living and dying. In every situation, there’s always a relation – either we take it or leave it.

What is this life supposed to hold? Our existence gives the greater essence and yet, are we living the way we’re supposed to live?

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